you realize

Many of us look for god
in women and in men.
We look for her in the fronts of
churches and the backs of prophets.
Look for her
in the bottoms of beer bottles.
We
search books and hallucinogens and soundtracks.
We often ask,
late at night,
for the
proof of purpose
and understanding.
Most of us spend
borrowed money to
hear the gospels
translated through opinions.
Some of us weep hoping tears will magnify her.
Then we give up,
and have children.